Saturday, June 11, 2011

Sitting in the Seat as a Learner: An Important Reminder and Positive Consequence of Professional Development

I was recently at an awesome education technology workshop over the past two days. For the most part, things were fantastically orchestrated. I learned a significant amount of new skills, though I am not yet adroit in them. I was enticed by the view of it all!

I entered a well fashioned smorgasbord, and they delivered! In fact, I learned so much that by 11AM, which was two hours in, my head was swimming with new ideas. I felt a slight tightness in my chest at this time on both days. I knew this was because I wanted to do everything I was learning next year; I knew the time and dedication that it was going to take! Anxiety sunk in, but it did not discourage me. I was up for the challenge! We went from class to class, my friend and I, almost skipping, but definitely walking briskly, and collaborating every step of the way. We felt we had the new techy tools to make it happen: Motivate and engage our students with technology, which is an important and essential step to acquiring skills and knowledge! On the other hand and on both afternoons, we had the opposite experience each day. I have to ask this question: Have you ever been frozen in a classroom and unable to gain a thing? This is what happened.

To give you some background and to take some of the blame off the presenters, I think some of them may have been from a company and not in the classroom very long. I say this because of how I felt in a few of the classrooms I visited. I am writing this because I just wrote about the importance of reflection in my past entry and not to slam the workshop. Every experience is one to learn from. In short, reflection is a powerful tool!

I learned a lot being a student in the seat again! Don’t ever tell your students from the gate; this is not a beginner course. You should have learned this first. So, I can’t stop for you. Instead, tell and assess what students need before they enter your course or before an activity begins. Give help and hope along the way. From the start, the trainer told me I would not be successful without saying those words. It was the other negative and hurtful words I heard. What happened? I shut down. "Why try?"; I thought to myself. It sounds like a poor attitude, but this is what I was feeling. I was thinking: “This is way over my head; I better not raise my hand; she is going to embarrass me and tell me something like I already told you that I CAN'T help you.” This is one of those powerful reflective moments I wrote about last week. Forgive me (I thought in my head). I said a prayer. God help me never to be like this in my classroom. I don’t want any student to leave my classroom feeling this way.

The other poignant moment I had was when I knew what I was talking about when addressing the trainer, and the they were not listening to the problem I was experiencing. I know she was trying to, but she was trying to solve my problem before I finished telling her what was wrong. You've been there before, and it is in those moments that you can shut down.

She kept saying, “I am only here to show you this _______. I can’t teach you to do __________________.” Ughh, I can hear her whiny voice right now as I was sitting in my seat simmering and thinking: “Listen, I know how to do the other things you are talking about, but my laptop is not showing what your screen is showing. How can I get the buttons to be the same so I can learn and practice like EVERYONE ELSE?” I tried to get help three times with no avail. I was about to erupt!

I am working on being patient and not snapping when I feel this way. Since I had a premonition that I was about to embarrass myself by going off on the instructor, which would also embarrass my husband, friend, and NPHS, I decided to time myself out of there ASAP. I could not sit there and swallow my frustrations anymore. The pot was about to boil, and I did not want to burn or scar anyone, including myself. So, I got up, walked, and counted to ten in the hallway. I returned, but decided to just sit it out and not open my mouth. I sat there and thought about my students. “How many high schoolers have walked out of my classroom because they are frustrated about something or any others for that matter?” True, it may not always be an educational reason, but what if we were able to pay MORE attention to the signs and help them adjust or get the support they need? All in all, I felt no safety or life-preserver, life-line, or any other support there to help me. It was over.

In reflection, I never want to be the teacher that students are saying, “I hate that class” for the above reason or any reason for that matter. I want students to feel safe in my room. I have a lot of work to do on improving my classroom environment. I learned a tremendous amount being a student in the seat again! I will never be the same after these past two days and neither will my friend! Even though I do reflection sheets at the end of every year, I think I learned more by this experience than the action of distributing, reading, and analyzing the year-end surveys! I have to say that I am sorry if any student has ever felt this way in my classroom. I will try to do more to ease my students when they feel frustrated. I will and do buddy them up with someone who is savvier to help if I can’t be there the entire time. What about you?

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Looking Back To Thrust Forward

A teacher’s job is never done. Even if they are not physically in their classroom planning, they are reading books, going to trainings, making activities, dreaming up relevant activities, and wondering about their students; this is what they do over the summer. Teachers also look back and reflect! If we never look back and reflect, we can never truly go ahead. I go through this process mid-school year, at the end of every schoolyear, at the end of a project or endeavor and or class, and somewhat regularly with relationships. Looking back is a powerful tool!

I often tell my reading students that they have to pause and reflect on what they have read. It’s a time to gather their thoughts, evaluate, make judgments, question, wonder, and do so much more. How often do we take the time to pause and reflect? Masters teachers do it almost on a moment-by-moment basis. Yet, we need to stop, pause, and reflect. You may think I just contradicted myself, but reflecting goes on all the time. Take the idea of training for a marathon. There are just certain times- like when you are about to make another lap on the track and you have to decide if you will slow down, speed up, do an extra round, take a break, have a quick drink of water- when you need to make a quick decision. On the flip side, going into the race, you have devised a thorough plan. At the end of it all, you will evaluate each step. Look for places where you can make changes to beat your time etc. So, preparing to run a race is a lot like getting ready for a schoolyear. When the run is done, one must look back!

At the end of the year, I give my students an evaluation to fill out. Though I try to put myself in their shoes, I do not know what they experience entirely sitting in the seat across from me all year long. I am attempting to peek into “Johari’s Window” by evaluating my total self. Thus, I need to try to see my “blind self” that is seen by others, but not seen by me. I am not talking about my “public self”, which is seen by others or my “private self” (what I see and know). And yet, while what I can see and know that people see is an asset, I am also looking for things that are hidden: That which I can’t see because of where I stand, which is in front of the classroom. I am looking for things I need to work on and improve. From my view, I may think I am fair about grading, but if many of the kids say I am not on the evaluation, I have something to consider and fix! I can also apply this philosophy as a school leader, church leader, friend, wife, mother, and grandmother. Thus, I believe that surveys and checking in are good ways to evaluate, reflect, and look back. We can also be good listeners and soak in the positive and the things we need to work on!

Teachers are also making decisions and judgments almost every second. The pace is fast day-in and day-out! One must take the time to look back and consider how things went. The end of a quarter or unit is a good time to look back. Another good time to look back or look in is during and after a class, training, or workshop. What components do you incorporate currently, and which ones can you add? What does not line up with research? It’s like cleaning out your closets or doing spring cleaning. This idea can apply to a marriage workshop, relationship class, or enrichment course.

But wait a minute; I never talked about looking forward. This is when it gets exciting! This is the part of the journey where you get to make choices and decisions. You get to decide how to make it better! You are in the driver seat. In fact, that is where I am right now. I feel such a ball of energy welling up for all of the things I need to do to close out this schoolyear and get ready for the next! I have embraced change by reflecting and looking back, and now I am ready to move forward full steam ahead! I have posted goals on my desk for next year because I don’t want to forget my top-three school goals over the summer. I am also checking the stock of my overall soup. Change is in the air! A teacher’s job, a person’s job, a mother’s job, a friend’s job, a leader’s job, a _________ job’s (fill it in) is never done, but if one wants to move forward, they have to pause, reflect, and look back!